Monday, November 11, 2013

Don't Call it a Recap Fantasy Basketball

Don’t Call it a Recap

Spending the opening two weeks of the NBA season in Thailand has its setbacks. For one I didn’t get to watch a single game, let alone highlights, analysis, previews, or even this strange walk around Barclays with Lang Whitaker. I did get to see 12 year olds kickbox, a giant Buddha, and my thigh wake up with a tattoo, but sadly they just don’t compare to opening night in the NBA. But I’m back, which means your fantasy team just got an enormous upgrade in the advice department, and Bill Simmons has some competition for column of the year. Each week I will recap review the more notable performances from around the association, as well as evaluating players’ future value free of charge for you greedy owners trying to get a leg up. For those of you that don’t live in the championship hoarding city of Boston, your fantasy team is likely all you have. That, and this video of October’s best vines. These players are in your league, they are being over or undervalued, and this is the information you need to expose that. Godspeed.

Buy Low
    How low can you go? These 5 players are underperforming their projected values, and owners are likely frustrated. Really frustrated. Send them an insultingly low offer and then meet them halfway, they’ll be thrilled to tell everyone in the league they fleeced you while you sip a questionably masculine drink and watch your team rise to mediocrity.

  1. Derrick Rose. Rank – #329 in 9 cat leagues. (14.4 ppg, 2.8 rpg, 4.0 apg, 0.2 spg, 0.2 bpg, 1.2 3pg, 5.0 tpg .320 fg%, .900 ft%). He is the MVP this season (of underperformance). Owners who drafted him in the first or second rounds are likely planning a trip to Chicago in an attempt to shake the point guard out of his slump via voodoo or motivational speeches. This would be a mistake. Not only does Derrick Rose not want to see you (trust me, I’ve tried), he is also going to be fine. While I just don’t see him returning first round value this year, I do picture him finishing closer to his MVP season numbers. The stats will come as his usage rises and he eventually removes the electrical tape from his neck. Get him before its too late.

  1. Kawhi Leonard. Rank - #58 in 9 cat leagues. (13.0 ppg, 5.6 rpg, 1.0 apg, 1.6 spg, 0.4 bpg, 0.6 3pg, 1.4 tpg, .527 fg%, .818 ft%). I know, 58th overall doesn’t sound that bad, and it isn’t, but he can (and will) improve dramatically. A great indication of a player’s value is his field goal percentage. Kawhi is shooting lights out, he’s just not shooting enough. Gregg Poppovich loves him, and he’s only going to find more and more ways to use Kawhi. That, and he plays with a few bags of bones in Duncan, Ginobli, and even Parker, who are going to need their rest come fantasy playoff time. So please, keep your head, arms, legs, and feet inside the ride at all times, and do not stand up or exit while it is in motion, because it’s going to be fun as hell.

  1. Jrue Holiday. Rank - #111 in 9 cat leagues. (14 ppg, 3.1 rpg, 7.1 apg, 1.7 spg, 0.3 bpg, 4.1 tpg, .390 fg%, .929 ft%). When you look at Jay rue? Drew? True? Ja Rule’s? numbers they’re really not all that bad. After his breakout season last year it is only a matter of time before he begins to really click with his new teammates. As the rest of the league scrambles for a plan to pluck the unibrow, Jrue will find more space, and thus more stats. With an impending Eric Gordon injury only a sweat-drop-on-the-court away (As an owner, I pray for health), look for Jrue to climb into the top 6-8 point guard rankings by the all-star break.

Sell High
    If these players have somehow hoodwinked and cajoled you into letting them on your roster then I envy you. You may be sitting there in fear of their ominous return to normalcy when you should be pimping them out! There are owners in every league that are seduced by stats, and these players have them (for now). Get on the horn, start a conference call like its 1990, and remember the ABC’s: Always Be Closing.

  1. Spencer Hawes. Rank #13 in 9 cat leagues. (15.6 ppg, 10.4 rpg, 3.1 apg, 0.4 spg, 1.9bg, 2.6 tpg, 1.7 3pg, .551 fg%, .688 ft%). Spencer Hawes is a good basketball player. Spencer Hawes is not this good of a basketball player. While I would love to anoint the 76ers as the Cinderallas of the East, it has still only been two weeks. Bigs have the tendency to shoot the 3 ball when there are no other options, and this more than anything has dictated the 1.7 threes a game. Look for Hawes to trend towards averages of 13 and 9, and if Nerlens Noel ever comes back, he could really hurt you in the fantasy playoffs. Abandon ship while you can, but only for a damn good deal.

  1. J.J. Reddick. Rank #23 in 9 cat leagues. (17.6 ppg, 3.0 rpg, 2.4 apg, 1.0 spg, 03 bpg, 1.0 tpg, 2.1 3pg, .483 fg%, .960 ft%). As arguably one of the most heckled collegiate players of all-time, it is a wonder Reddick has maintained the confidence to shoot like a maniac behind the 3 point line, but he has. With that in mind, that is literally all he does. You can sell J.J. to a hungry owner for someone who stuffs the stat sheet. Points and 3’s are always cheap pickups off the waiver wire. Send Reddick to an owner who inexcusably values points over everything else, then watch those points dwindle as his usage drops.

  1. Andre Igoudala. Rank #29 in 9 cat leagues. (15.1 ppg, 4.4 rpg, 5.0 apg, 2.1 spg, 0.4 bpg, 2.4 tpg, 1.9 spg, .603 fg%, .478 ft%,). This one is tough. I have always been a fan of Igoudala, and to be honest I only have him here because these stats are simply unsustainable. With a young Harrison Barnes getting healthier, Igoudala’s minutes will start to come down, as well as his ludicrous field goal percentage. I won’t blame owners for holding onto him, I just think a smart owner can get an incredible return right now (think Kawhi Leonard), that lasts deep into the season.

Good luck to everyone who does not own Anthony Davis this week, and as always if you have any questions or just want to send me a basketball inspired haiku, I can be reached on Twitter @CamDorrett, or by email at

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